Nazi Squid Theory 2: The Revenge of XxX HEILHITLER666MILLION XxX
What Happened After The First Story...
After I ended on the note that it was a tumblr user all along, I have been sent a email by a guy named Ben Garr- I meant Harrison. He told me to meet him at the back alley behind a shop where there will be a hyper-realistic 10.00 bill (The same dollar bill I gave to the clerk from gamestop).
When I went to the location that Ben told me, 3 skinhead nazi try-hards from /pol/ hit me behind the head and I fainted to the ground.
You wonder why I am still alive after that? Well the thought of Shadman's work along with me stopping those skinheads from killing me, kept me alive. Sit down on your fat ass or whatever ass you have and let me tell you the story on how I killed a few skinheads and got a goth chick as a friend.
The Story
When I fainted, The first skinhead yelled "Get the fuck up, you race mixing cuck!" As soon as he said that, I got angry and tried to punched him but, I was in chains and I couldn't punch him. The second skinhead punched me and tazed me. It fucking hurted so bad, that my chest was a tiny bit darker than normal. The third skinhead held a knife against my throat and spared me a few seconds later. The first skinhead said, "Hey there, you fucking kike. My name is Heinz Edgeschligerr, AKA: XxX HEILHITLER666MILLION XxX. I am fucking infuriated on how a race-mixing, money shilling, piece of degenerate miststück like you managed to beat me at splatoon." Then, he proceeded to call me one of the worst names to ever call me. He called me a SJW. As soon as he called me that, I got fucking angry on the inside while trying to find something to get me out of these chains. I found a pick and I was trying unlock myself from these chains. While I was trying to unlock myself, I said "Even though I don't understand German, At least I can say this, küss mein arsch!" Then, I proceeded to punch him in the face and stabbed the other skinheads with a knife to the head. When Heinz was on the ground, his last words were, "Du Hurensohn! You think you can kill me? What are you gonna do, stab me?" And I did just that, I did that 5 times.
After that, I left the alley and went to their car since, my car was sprayed with nazi bullshit. As soon as I went into their car, A goth girl woke up and was a bit scared since she didn't know who I was. I told her who I was and basically told her that I was kidnapped by the skinhead fucks. She told me that her name was Zoe and that they kidnapped her too but, they were planning to kill me first. I asked her why she got kidnapped and her reasoning was because of her being goth. I was infuriated because not only they kidnapped innocent people, they also put a girl in danger and I will not have it. So I found an address for his house and it lead to a normal looking house. Me and Zoe broke in to the house and looked around. Ben was sleeping on his bed and I didn't want to have to deal with his bullshit so, I choked him with a pillow. Afterwards, Zoe and I stole all of his money and left his house. As soon as we left, Zoe and I spent all of his tainted money on music albums and video games. We went out the eat afterwards and we had a good time talking about anime, video-games, cartoons, and tons of music that we liked.
After all that perfect nonsense, I dropped her off at a apartment complex and she gave me her social media links and number. After that, she told me this, "See you later, sweetheart! Take care!" I blushed and drove away fast while saying "Adios!" to her.
I went home after an eventful day to only find out that my nerd friend was standing at the door looking afraid. I asked why was he afraid and he didn't respond. I looked inside to find nazi merchandise along with swastikas all over the wall. I was horribly shocked at what happened.
Epilogue (FINALLY I FUCKING SPELLED THAT WORD RIGHT)
I called the cops after what I just saw and they told me that it was just a break in and nobody was suspected of the crime. I was really mad about this because there was a lot of shit that I had to fucking clean up. Luckily, they hooked me up with an expensive cleaning service. AND GUESS WHAT? IT'S ON THE FUCKING HOUSE! I was really happy that I recovered from this experience until an threatening e-mail was sent to me. It says:
"Dear Shill,
We are tired of your bullshit with killing 4 of our soldiers. You think you are untouchable, aren't you? Just wait until we find you and kidnap you. Our new Fürher will be pleased to know that we found you. We will beat you until you realize your degenerate ways and take the red pill to be an honorable /pol/ack.
Love, Elden"
At this point, I fucking knew that they will be on to me. The first time was enough but now, they want to kill me or convert me to their bullshit ways. Even then, I was ready. I was ready to die an honorable death. I came to this earth screaming in agony and covered in blood and I was prepared to leave the same fucking way.
And this is over a fucking video-game. It's not about splatoon anymore, It's all about gang wars and killing those skinheads who want to kill me or brainwash me. I am ready to kick a lot of ass and chew bubble gum. And yes, I am all out of that shit.
Theory
Even though I said that there was no theory, I think there is one on how the nazis love splatoon so much. I think it's because of superior dominance and how they want to dominate in real life. They actually like squids so much that I actually found a squid symbol on their uniform earlier as I left the alley way. It spooked me as I thought about it.
What will happen next? Will I finally kill the nazis along with their stupid Fürher? Will I finally have a wonderful day in all of this mess? Will Zoe finally invite me to her house?
Find out in the third and final story, Nazi Squid Theory 3: The Fall of the Fourth Reich!